Study of I Peter: I Peter 3:1-7

 

This weeks study delved into submission within the marriage context as well as what real beauty is and what kind of qualities that Peter said women should emulate.  Those of us ladies who are doing the study and choose one thing that really spoke to us when we went through this weeks lesson and I think this time it was the submission part and what that actually looks like in a marriage today.

Submission is often misunderstood both in society and even in the church today, which is unfortunate, because even as Brothers and Sisters we should submit to one another.  However, when it comes to submission in a marriage it’s more than likely equated with the man keeping the wife in a slave capacity, allows the wife to be abused, however that is not the way the Bible tells us submission is – that is what the world wants us to believe about submission.

The definition of submission from the Merriam Webster is:

The first definition isn’t particular to what I’m writing about so I’ll skip to definition #2 which is ” the condition of being submissive, humble, or compliant” and definition #3 is “an act of submitting to the authority or control of another”.

So re-read that again.

When we read God’s Word we know that we women are called to be pure, meek, mild, having a quiet spirit.  This goes along with the definition of being humble and compliant.  Does it say that we need to be door mats or a stomping ground for our husbands?  No.  Does this go for our husbands as well?  Yes.

Feminists and others in the world would have us believe if we submit to our husbands that we are some how making ourselves lower than our husbands, that we are denigrating ourselves to some sub-human standard.  This couldn’t be further from the truth, and I’ll get to that in a minute.  When we took the vows of marriage, if it was a Christian marriage, they we promised to love and obey our husbands.  I know, I know – some are thinking well if we’re supposed to be equal they need to obey us too.  When we took those vows we willingly and knowingly put ourselves under the authority of our husbands.

Now, God tells our husbands that they are to do the same as Christ does to His church.  Does Jesus abuse His church?  No.  Does He love it, protect it, cherish it?  Yes.  This is what the husband should be doing, Biblical submission does not excuse abuse of any kind, in fact there are grave repercussions that the Lord promises to the man who does abuse his power over women.

Okay back to the original idea for posting – what does submission look like in marriage (and for what it’s worth, I know it will more than likely look different for everyone).  I have friends who love to wait on their husbands, if that is what God has worked out for that marriage, great but in my marriage and what I desire for my children submission would look like:

• The husband to be a true saved and Bible believing Christian who submits himself to the Lord and the authority of a Bible believing church.
• A wife who is a true saved and Bible believing Christian who submits herself to the Lord, her husband and the authority of a Bible believing church.
• The husband’s desire is to protect and cherish his wife as the precious commodity she is.  If there is an argument, he fights fair, no name calling, no bringing up the past.
• The wife’s desire is to bring honor and glory first to the Lord through honoring and respecting her husband through listening to him and following through on things – he wants the dishes done before he gets home from work, get ‘em done.
• When issues need discussed the husband and wife meet together and discuss the issue.   Whoever has the issue presents it.  “Honey I want to take the children to XYZ on ABC and we’ll need $$.”  After presenting the issue the spouse calmly listens to the other “Well darling, I’m afraid I’d rather you stay home that day and focus on the studies with the children and clean the house up a bit.  I will make arrangements for you and the children and maybe even take the day off work so we can go another time soon.”  In this case the wife would calmly agree to the husband’s request and cheerfully stay home while her husband works to follow through on his promise.  If the wife stomps her foot (or vice versa) and argues or still goes it’s a sign of a defiant heart and not a submissive one that God desires.
• The husband’s word is final.  Now, I know there are some things that could change this, if he thinks a child should go to the dr for a minor cold I would present my case that it would be a waste of money and time or if the husband would ask the wife to do something that would jeopardize her life, her children’s life or cause her to commit a crime.  I know there are some staunchly patriarchal types who would disagree with this under the claim that the wife is protected from God’s wrath since she’s following her husband’s will – I still believe God will hold us each accountable.

Am I the perfect submissive wife?  Definitely not.  I’m constantly being molded by the Potter’s Hands.  I still sometimes defy my husband and try to justify it later.  I also know that if my husband says no to something he is firmly believing that he is protecting the children and I.  Sometimes I want my way, but I try not to yell anymore although you may still catch me rolling my eyes (see, I’ve got something to work on!)

**I am participating in the I Peter blog tour and I was provided a copy of the Inductive Bible Study in exchange for posting about my experiences with the study for nine weeks, no other compensation was given.

Big Truths for Young Hearts: Teaching and Learning the Greatness of God by Bruce A. Ware

I love when a wonderful resource comes out that is done in an easy to read and understand format for multiple ages that can easily explain Biblical truths. Big Truths for Young Hearts is one of those books, geared for parents of children ages 6 – 14, it explains Christian theology in an easy to read and understandable format.

Oftentimes parents can find themselves lost in answering questions and this book can be a jumping off place to start in explaining Biblical truths. The truths covered in this book make it a good read for any denomination of Christianity who believes the Jesus is the Savior and He is the only way to Heaven. One chapter discusses God as Three in One and goes on to break down into there is only one God, one God in three persons, the Father is God, The Son is God, The Holy Spirit is God and how the Father, Son and Holy Spirit relate.

At the end of each chapter are questions for thought, which even the youngest child could answer with rephrasing it for the child’s age or ability. Also included are a memory verse – the family can use their own version of the Bible for this or use the book which is using the ESV (English Standard Version). I really enjoy the straight forward approach to teaching children about God – which all Christian parents should strive for.

Overall, this book is a wonderful resource for any Christian family and it will prove to be invaluable to the homeschooling family as it would definitely be an easy way to approach devotionals and teaching about the Bible in a easy to do manner, especially with multiple age ranges.

**I’d like to thank Amy Stephansen at Crossway for providing a copy of this book for my honest review.

Dinosaurs Stars of the Show by Amie Zordel

Dinosaurs Stars of the Show by Amie Zordel and illustrated by Joanna Borrero is a wonderful addition to any family’s library that believe in Biblical Creationism and not ‘millions and millions’ of years ago. Mrs. Zordel is a wife and mom of three daughters, who was inspired to write this book after her 7-year-old daughter’s exposure to evolution while watching children’s programming. She wanted to provide a way for families to give Biblical answers to questions that children ask.

The beautifully illustrated, 8 X 10, hardcover book begins with a little girl watching a show, innocently enough, about dinosaurs and then comes the scientist who starts talking about how dinosaurs are millions of years old and they formed out of nothing without a plan. The little is girl is stunned and starts out to find out for herself about the truth behind the dinosaurs.

The little girl pulls out her Bible and begins to read about the Creation of our earth, by our Heavenly Father. My children all enjoyed this book, with the rhyming of the words it really keeps their attention as well as driving home what we believe about Biblical Creationism. Also since it involves dinosaurs this does appeal to almost all children, all three of mine are enjoying learning more about dinosaurs although they tire of hearing millions of years. I really recommend that if you want to surround your children with Biblical examples and they enjoy dinosaurs this is a good place to start. It debunks the evolution based theories in a easy to understand, child like manner.

This is an excellent book, one that can be treasured for years to come. I found myself wrapped up in the story as well and enjoying the pictures. Another good idea would be to request your local library to purchase a copy or two, so families can all have access to the Truth about evolution. So please check out Dinosaurs Stars of the Show put out by Master Books a division of New Leaf Press.

What He Must Be….. by Voddie Baugham Jr.

Smell that? It’s a breath of fresh air, godly fresh air. I just finished reading
What He Must Be if he wants to marry my daughter by Voddie Baucham, Jr.
This book is definitely what all Christian parents need to read if they want their daughter’s to be married to godly men who will treasure them and do their Biblical duties and also what they need to train their sons to do as we prepare them for marriage. Truly this book is a breath of fresh air, in a culture full of feminism, gender neutrality and humanism.

At first I thought that the book review program at Crossway got things mixed up because at first glance I thought it was a book for me on what their daughter’s need in a marriageable husband – I was wrong! This is a book that both mother’s and father’s can get a lot out of. While I already had thoughts of courtship for my children, my husband isn’t convinced. I experienced severe personal heart ache in the leftovers of dating romances – which only time and God can heal and I don’t want my son or my daughter’s to enter their marriage with such heart ache.

Some will find this book archaic and backwards, especially in our culture who today says women can have a marriage, family and career – oftentimes finding that isn’t the case. Men who become stay at home dads – when this becomes Biblical please give me the Scripture reference. Men who love their wives and wives who submit to their husbands. Men who WANT and welcome children, who are the sold provider for their families, men who are the protector, and the priest in the home. This is not a popular view and Mr. Baucham recognizes that but thankfully he doesn’t back down from that either. He supports everything with Scripture. When he discusses Biblical submission this doesn’t mean allowing a man to beat on his wife or the wife has to be at his beck and call – this detracts from his being a protector, provider and priest. Husband’s have to submit to Christ and the wives are to show their husbands the same love and respect.

This is a refreshing wake up call to churches who are more and more finding themselves having to condone live in relationships before marriage, believers marrying non believers, young men and women swearing off marriage and children until they can afford it among other issues. This book will challenge your beliefs in marriage and raise the bar on what we expect of our sons and our future son in laws. As a mother this is what I want my children to look toward, in a world that my daughter’s are already being pushed to make career choices (they are only 7 and 4 1/2), it’s going to be hard to go against the grain and say, “no”. I am not saying that Mr. Baucham has all the answers, but he brings a lot of good points that are Biblically based and sound in what we need to be on the look for.

So if you are a Christian parent and don’t want to settle for a son in law just because he loves your daughter (is he a true Bible believing, God fearing Christian) or do you want someone who wants to emulate Christ and follow God’s Word? If the answer is yes, read this book and if the answer is no, GET THIS BOOK because if you are willing to settle for less than what God wants for your son and for you daughter’s then you will be sacrificing something that didn’t need to be sacrificed.