Faith, Family, Love and Reviews

C is for Children

on March 8, 2012


I’m going to admit when I was in high school and even as a young adult, I never wanted children.  They seemed to need so much and I wanted to be an attorney – I wanted to do high profile cases and earn lots and lots of money.  I also wasn’t firm in my Christian faith – leaving behind the God of my child hood – for the gods of money, vanity, and humanism.

God has a way of working even when we don’t acknowledge Him or want Him in our lives.

In 2000 I met my husband, Don, and after a short dating/engagement period we married on 1-1-01, he knew that I hadn’t wanted children but I was willing to have 1 – that was fine with him.  Unknowingly I was already pregnant.

I lost that baby in February of 2001.

This is the point that the Lord began working on my heart without me knowing it right away.

We waited the requisite time period and on the day I graduated from college found out I was pregnant again!  I was ecstatic!  A baby!

Almost immediately we planned for me to work up until I could no longer do so – I was in a high stress job of the Developmental Disability field as a home manager – after the baby came I would stay home.

Now keep in mind I never wanted children, let alone stay home….all…day….long with one!  Well then we bit off more – we decided when I was just a few months along that we would home-school.

10 years have passed since that first baby was born, 11 since we lost the first one.

The Lord impressed upon me after the birth of our second that I was no longer to take birth control.  Then I researched birth control and how it works, and being pro-life, I could not longer justify taking something that causes a spontaneous abortion.  So approximately two years later I was pregnant with our son.

Five years (six in July) will have passed – no more babies, except the missed miscarriage – that simply means that the dr and I believe I was pregnant but I lost the baby before any lab work could be done.

The Lord tells us that children are a heritage, they are to be welcomed, they are here to bless us and we are to love and train them.  I don’t know why the Lord told me not use BC anymore if He was only going to give me one more baby after the fact.  I can’t guess the Lord’s motives.

I’m happy for friends that continue to conceive and deliver more children, but for me I’m taking comfort in the fact that I no longer have to pack diapers and extra clothes for an outing, I don’t have to worry about nursing in public, or potty training.

Don’t get me wrong if the Lord gives me another I would embrace all the above wholeheartedly – truly I LOVED being pregnant, I LOVED nursing my babies.  I’m relishing the stages my children are at now, even if some days all they seem to do is fight with each other – but the Lord has blessed me abundantly and I couldn’t ask for more!


3 responses to “C is for Children

  1. I was the opposite and all my life want a houseful of children, at least 5. But years of infertility and finally a successful adoption have left me the mom of one.

    I don’t understand either. Why the strong desire for many and only the blessing of one.

    But His ways are not my ways. And even if I never understand, I will always be grateful to be Ben’s mom.

    • ohiosarah says:

      I understand that – going through ‘secondary infertility’ is hard. I’m glad I have the three I do and one day I’d love to adopt – I’m drawn to Africa or China – but the cost right now is prohibitive and DH isn’t in agreement. I don’t ‘feel’ like our family is ‘done’ and feel like one is missing, whether this stems from my miscarriage I don’t know. I try to remember Sarah who was in her 90’s before the Lord gave her her heart’s desire.

  2. Michelle says:

    What a great post! I always wanted a houseful of kids. We went through years of infertility and God ended up blessing us with 3 wonderful kids through adoption (2 from here in the states and 1 from China). It’s strange how God works things out. I think He gets a good laugh out of our plans sometimes!

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