GrowingForChrist

Faith, Family, Love and Reviews

You Can’t Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded) by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias #review

on July 23, 2013

From Cynthia Ulrich Tobias’ site.

About the Book: Many parents suspect their strong-willed child is deliberately trying to drive them crazy. Difficult to discipline and seemingly impossible to motivate, these children present unique, exhausting, and often-frustrating challenges to the those who love them.

But strong will is not a negative trait. These same children have firm convictions, high spirits, a sense of adventure—all the makings of a great adult. In this book you’ll discover how to channel that passion and determination in positive ways as you build a healthy relationship. Through insights gained from strong-willed people of all ages, you’ll…
· better understand how their minds really work.
· discover positive ways to motivate your strong-willed child.
· learn how to share control without compromising parental authority.
· apply key tactics to survive a meltdown.
· get practical tips for parents who disagree, blended families, and single parents.

Packed with immediately useful strategies to drastically reduce the level of tension in the home (or in the classroom), You Can’t Make Me shows how you can start today to build a stronger, more positive relationship with your strong-willed child.

You can purchase a copy at Waterbrook Multnomah.

My Opinion:

When I was trying to decide which book to chose through Blogging For Books I saw You Can’t Make Me and it just jumped out at me – I think it was totally a God thing.  God has blessed us with two, if not three strong willed children (SWC) and lately I’ve been trying to figure out how to best parent them because our current forms of guidance aren’t working – whether it’s spanking, yelling, losing privileges or time out, it’s not working.  I have to say that I don’t think this book is just for parents of SWC’s – I think it could work for a variety of children – but it’s definitely geared toward SWC’s and their families.  I saw me in a lot of these issues and think had my parents been more aware of my strong willed personality and how to work with me instead of against me, there may have been more peace in our house.

If you’re not sure if your child, or you, are strong willed Cynthia provides a short, 12 point checklist for you to determine if your child is strong willed.  I think one of the best chapters in the book is explaining how the strong willed child’s brain is wired – by understanding this we can more better understand how to deal with our children when they act up or are truly defying us.  I learned that SWC aren’t actively trying to defy or disobey their parents and other authorities but it’s how they and we perceive each other.

One thing that is hard for me as a mom is to ask questions, I prefer to tell my children “clean your room, or else” but if dealing with a SWC that doesn’t work and will come down to a battle of the wills, pun intended.  One thing to do is to ask more questions and put the ball in their court, so instead of demanding the room be cleaned – or else – ask “Son, have you cleaned your room?”  Honestly out of all the chapters the only one that I didn’t really relate to was the one about school – however I am going to go back and re-read this because as I’m both mom and teacher to my children and sometimes school is a battle I can use some more ideas.  This book was truly worth it, it was a quick read – but I will be going back through it to glean more knowledge from it.

Please take a moment and rate my review at Blogging for Books – Thank you.

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One response to “You Can’t Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded) by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias #review

  1. […] the book in the mail and I only wish I had started reading it sooner, I’ve read another book lately on how to relate to children so this one tied right into it.  I began reading without my […]

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