Since finding out that my daughter will be having surgery we have been really blessed and also finding out who are friends are. I’ve been questioned about our decision to go through with the surgery – whether it’s really needed or if there are other avenues we should be pursuing. Some have acted like it’s no big deal – that this surgery is as routine as having a gallbladder removed. Of course, there were some who thought the same about my c-section, so some people may just not realize how serious a surgery is that involves the spine and spinal cord. I digress I try to ignore those who seem to want to bring me down.
However, the friends who are supportive the most are those who know and recognize it’s not a decision we (any parent) make lightly to have a surgeon cut into their child’s back and insert rods and screws and mess around in the area that controls whether our daughter will walk, talk, eat on their own again after waking up.
One of the hardest things as a parent is to wonder if what you’re doing is the best thing – will this harm her future? will this make her future brighter? I have peace about this surgery and after seeing the x-ray again the other day at our first pre-op it just re-affirmed the decision. The Lord has given us a surgeon who genuinely cares about our daughter, she isn’t just another patient, he is also a Christian and told us that he prays over each child before he begins surgery. That doesn’t mean that I don’t doubt our decision, I have my worries, even though the doctor has answered our multiple questions and allayed my fears I still worry. What mother doesn’t?
I still have fears that she may not walk if there is damage to her spinal cord. I know the risks of anesthesia and that it can be lethal. I know that while she is in that operating room I can’t be there to hold her hand. I know afterwards she is going to be in pain – a hug amount of pain. I also know that my God is not a God of fear – He is a God of love, of caring, of comfort and of HEALING. I am claiming God’s name of:
Jehovah-Rapha meaning The Lord our Healer
Jehovah-Jireh meaning The Lord will Provide
Jehovah-Shalom meaning The Lord is peace
I’m claiming these names, not only for my daughter, but for our entire family as we face the next few weeks. Her surgery is now scheduled for October 25 – but we have another pre-op appointment and then we also have a 4 to 5 hour period where we have to be at the hospital for pre-testing, tours, base line stuff as well as the time involved to have her donate her own blood. And while I claim His names for us I also know that we are being blessed now with much prayer from those who my daughter has touched, from our family, from friends, from the doctor. We have a friend ready to prepare others to bring us a meal when we return home that next week. My daughter has been given a prayer shawl from the church where both girls attend American Heritage Girls. So while there are those who seem bent on bringing me down, make me doubt myself there are those who are building us up like Brothers and Sisters in Christ ought to do and I’m so overwhelmed with the blessings that abound.
They included a beautiful card that was made by our AHG Troop Coordinator, and written to include a special blessing for my daughter. They also included a pocket prayer shawl for her and for the four of us so that we can have something to carry with us. I’ll be keeping mine with my Bible, which will be coming with me to the hospital as well. I received a blue one, my husband chose a white one, my son chose safety orange and my other daughter chose green. I’m so blessed by those who are there for us during this time.