Transforming Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law Relationships. What does it take to create true family unity between moms and the women who marry their sons?
The caricatures are everywhere, the jokes are inexhaustible, and the stereotypes fill the screens. From Marie Barone (Everyone Loves Raymond) to Viola Fields (Monster-in-Law) to Internet sites and social media pages like ihatemyinlaws.com and a Facebook page for ihatemymotherinlaw there is no shortage of examples of the caustic relationships that can develop between the two women in a man’s life.
Deb DeArmond and her three daughters-in-law have conducted their own exhaustive research into the status of the women-in-law relationship. Their research, which incorporated online surveys, interviews, and discussions, included asking about the faith factor in the relationships they studied. Of the respondents, nearly 90 percent claimed they were Christians, and 79 percent said their faith was foundational and guided their actions and decisions. As discouraging as it may be, the numbers of those they surveyed who reported that their women-in-law relationships were “bad” were nearly identical to those in a survey conducted by a popular secular website that recorded no statistics on faith.
Beyond the statistics and their analysis, Deb brings to this book more than thirty years working with adults to improve communications and deal constructively with conflict. Aside from her research and her professional expertise, perhaps the most important asset Deb brings to this work is her own relationship with her three daughters-in-law that is so obviously and unusually positive that she-and they-are often asked to explain the secret of the relationships they share.
This practical and unapologetically scriptural book covers issues of personal perceptions, strained communication, the roles of sons and fathers in the relationship’s success, how to begin these relationships on the right foot, and the necessity of trust and love. Deb’s one motivating objective is to help women-in-law move from women who are simply related to strong and confident members of a truly spiritual family.
You can purchase the book here or by clicking on the book cover above.
Deb DeArmond has owned her own leadership training and executive coaching practice for fifteen years. She is an experienced speaker and writer with work appearing in “WHOA” Magazine and “Dallas Family” Magazine and a cofounder of mypurposenow.org-an online community for Christian women 50+. Deb and her husband, Ron, have three married sons and three grandchildren, and live in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. Find out more at debdearmond.com.
Okay, I’ve heard it all – first hand – I don’t need to go to the Internet to find out that in law relationships are often rocky, sometimes they can be down right hostile. I saw the daughter-in-law, mother-in-law conundrum through out my growing up years and so I thought that is the way it’s supposed to be and in almost 13 years of marriage to my husband I haven’t really done anything to nurture the relationship with his mom. Sadly. I read this book both as a daughter-in-law and a someday mother-in-law and it was eye opening – I think I’ll be seeking out copies to gift to my daughters and my daughter-in-law (whoever she may be) when they marry so that they can have a beautiful relationship with their mother-in-law.
Actually, it was on Facebook when I was first heard someone using the term daughter-in-love. What!? I couldn’t believe there was a mom who loved her son’s wife? Wow!? I’d love to have that relationship with my son’s wife and also have a good relationship to whoever marries my precious daughters (that won’t be the goth guy who checked out my Whovian daughter at Walmart last week!). Throughout the book there are tip sheets which will help get the relationship back on track, it may never be perfect, but it can be better than what you have now – if you have a strained relationship. Let’s face it – holidays are hard enough without the added stress of the in-law tension going on.
Also are self assessments where questions are asked then, honestly, you answer them depending on strongly agreeing, strongly disagreeing, etc to give you a bigger picture of your in-law relationships. Filled with Scriptural facts and also based on the story of Ruth and Naomi you’ll find yourself believing and actually working on your relationship with that in-law, be it mother or daughter. Deb also addresses what you can do if the relationship is hostile and one or the other fails to want to work on the relationship – that being said she’s had a great relationship with her daughters-in-laws from the get-go but she writes with a compassion and understanding that one doesn’t usually see in someone who hasn’t experienced something first hand.
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(c) 2013, Sarah Bailey/Growing for Christ, All Rights Reserved, Unauthorized Duplication is a Violation of Applicable Laws
One winner will receive:
- A $200 SpaFinder gift card (perfect for a pampering day of bonding)
- Related by Chance, Family by Choice by Deb DeArmond (2 copies)
Enter today by clicking one of the icons below. But hurry, the giveaway ends on November 30th. Winner will be announced December 2nd at Deb’s blog.