GrowingForChrist

Faith, Family, Love and Reviews

My mind has gone blank… #grow4christ

on January 21, 2014

I’m suffering from a case of blogger’s block……. I need to catch up and write my Blogging Through the Alphabet post for O and P but I have no words that are coming to me for those letters unless I use outhouse or potty and really, who wants to read a blog post about those?

Truly I feel like my mind is blank – it’s been a crazy couple of weeks and school hasn’t really been happening although we did start our Olympics unit study yesterday and that is proving fun but nothing yet that would warrant picture taking.  We did go to a science museum last Wednesday but I had a migraine so no picture taking then either.

We are looking for a place to rent – which is seemingly hard since we have 2 dogs and 2 guinea pigs and almost everyone wants a high pet deposit, which is non-refundable on top of deposit and first month’s rent.  So trying to find a place in our price range/budget that fits out needs prefer 3 bedrooms but can make 2 work, kitchen, working plumbing…….is well hard and is mind numbing.  The children want to pack but I don’t want to pack until we have someplace to go.

If I didn’t know better I’d be running to the nearest doctor for an anti-depressant but I know I’m not depressed but I just feel so blank – doing anything that requires thought or energy completely wears me down and I’m ready for bed at 7 p.m.  I’ve been reading some blogs lately and they’ve been honest either about mean kids or about blogging isn’t fun anymore and so on.  There has also been some banter on Facebook that us bloggers are too positive and we should be more honest so I’m being honest…

Homeschooling is hard when you’ve had to stay with inlaws and then a hotel.

Being the one that keeps it all together is hard – I internalize my stress and so my back hurts, my shoulders hurt and my headache is constantly aching – I’m mom, mom’s don’t yell when they don’t want to hear “you have to make sacrifices and that might mean getting rid of the pets”, or cry when you know you need a bigger place, a place that is not falling apart but yet the place that is falling apart and too small is the same place you lived when you first got married and where you brought all your babies home too and where you’ve made a home…..

So I’ve gotten some reviews scheduled, thankfully I wrote the reviews awhile ago and just had to post the pictures and schedule it to go live or else I may not have gotten those done.  My mind is blank and I feel like laughing maniacally but I know that wouldn’t be good except for scaring the children.  Don’t worry, I’m still in my right mind, I’m just numb I really can’t think of doing much more than just surviving, getting through this day……

I want to get back to living………

Tired of going through the motions………

and so my mind is blank and this is an honest blog post – I’m letting my children veg in front of the T.V. because that means they aren’t fighting or begging to pack while I write this post.  I’m still trying to come up with a word for O and for P and I’m drawing a blank and all I really want is for life to return to normal.

 

(c) 2014, Sarah Bailey/Growing for Christ, All Rights Reserved, Unauthorized Duplication is a Violation of Applicable Laws

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3 responses to “My mind has gone blank… #grow4christ

  1. Laraba says:

    Sarah,

    You really have been so much the last … 12 years, in a way, given that the house is small, but especially the last couple of weeks! I am glad a solution apparently is working out. I pray that the new place is bigger and in better shape. I pray also you can get the smoke smell out — I remember seeing a house (20+ years ago) that was in fine shape and the owners had purchased it from a lifelong smoker who was elderly when he died. The owners said it was a lot of work in some ways, but they got the smoke smell OUT.

    • ohiosarah says:

      Yes, it was fine when we first married, 13 years ago but as we added children things got smaller LOL but I will say God had a plan for us in the small place, not sure what it was but He did – and while the smallness wasn’t fun I did learn a lot about myself. This new place has lots of storage and more room than I’ll probably know what to do with but it will be good for us all, including my mom.

  2. […] course I’m late again but if you read my post about my mind going blank, you’ll know that we’ve been under a lot of stress lately and so my O word is […]

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