GrowingForChrist

Faith, Family, Love and Reviews

Book Review: No More Perfect Kids by Jill Savage and Kathy Koch, PhD

on April 7, 2015

About the Book:

Love Your Kids for Who They Are.

Mom and dad, your kids are created in God’s image, not your own. Jill Savage and Kathy Koch will guide you in truly appreciating your kids. They will teach you how to study and become an expert on your children, because you cannot fully embrace them until you truly know them.

One of the best gifts we as parents can give our children is to set them free to be all that God has created them to be—not forcing them to live out our dreams or comparing them to our friend’s kid.

In No More Perfect Kids, Jill Savage and Kathy Koch equip us with the tools and perspective to:

Identify and remove the Perfection Infection from our parenting.
Really know each child so we can fully embrace their unique design.
Release our children from unrealistic expectations.
Answer the questions our kids are silently asking in a way that gives them the courage and freedom to be themselves.

Written in a passionate, candid, and personal way, the authors 
will instill within you hope and contentment. You’ll be inspired to apply the practical, realistic, and relevant ideas and tactics Jill and Kathy share.

You can buy the book at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Christianbook.

My Opinion:

I had the pleasure of reading another of Dr. Koch’s books, titled How Am I Smart?, and when I met Dr. Koch at the homeschool convention last year, she gave me No More Perfect Kids that she co-authored with Jill Savage. Yes, it’s taken me almost a year to read and review this book and I apologize to both authors for that, it has been a crazy year.  One of the things I’m guilty of as a mom is wanting my children to be who I think they should be, aren’t we all?  I want them to do this or that or make them do things they don’t want to do instead of listening and learning who they are as individuals, uniquely created by the Lord.  In their book Savage and Koch, want to teach moms and dad how to “love your kids for who they are”, often times our children feel unloved and unwanted and devalued because we aren’t learning who they are and if we don’t take the time to do that we can’t fully embrace them and give them the love they need.

Using questions that children often ask such as:

  • “Do You Like Me?”
  • “Am I Important to You?”
  • “Is It Okay I’m Unique?”
  • “Who Am I?”
  • “Am I A Failure?”
  • “What’s My Purpose?”
  • “Will You Help Me Change?”

The authors use these questions and build on them from a Christian and Biblical worldview, which is what makes this book so good, it’s not based on man’s word but on God’s Word.  I think the chapter that resonated with me the most is the, “Am I A Failure?”, I think most of us at one time or another struggle with feeling like a failure either in the eyes of our parents or in the eyes of the Lord.  The authors address that as parents we may hear or ask some things like, I think I might be gay, I’m pregnant, your child has dyslexia (that one is mine), or what are those cuts on your arms?  They reiterate that as parents we are not failures, our children are not failures and our God is bigger than any of these and more – He’s got this.  It is how we deal with it.  The authors gives parents the tools to use to help them overcome the toxic idea that our children have to be what we want them to be, and let them be the people that God created them to be, using Scripture.

I know I’m going to re-read this book and really begin to implement some of the ideas in our house – I’ve had a hard time in trying to be the perfect Christian parent and trying to get my children to be who I want them to be instead of the creative, active and imaginative children they are. Jill Savage and Kathy Koch have written a fantastic book, it’s not all the answers, even the authors admit they’ve messed up and sometimes still do and through the real life stories of other mom’s we can see how our human-ness gets in the way and until we let God do His job we’re going to mess up.  Whether you’re a mom of one or a mom of nine or twenty this book has a lot of helpful information in it to get you loving your children for who they are.

(c) 2015, Sarah Bailey/Growing for Christ, All Rights Reserved, Unauthorized Duplication is a Violation of Applicable Laws

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