Its been awhile since I’ve written a personal post – November 2015 to be exact. I have to say things have been so busy and also sad in our house. On our way home from West Virginia for Thanksgiving on November 28th, my mom called me to ask if we could pick her up at the hospital. She said she’d been in a small car accident and seeing as we had just past the city where she was I turned around, she couldn’t get a hold of my younger brother. Found out it wasn’t a small car accident and she had a severe concussion. My brother agreed to come to her house to care for her as she is unable to climb the stairs in my house. On November 30th I received a frantic voicemail that my brother had fallen and she couldn’t get him awake. I had just spoken with him a few hours before and he was fine. I rush over while having my best friend on the phone to turn the corner to see many cops, two squads and two fire trucks. I go up to the house to find them working frantically on my brother – he was 32. His obit is here.
The next few months had me working my part time job, taking care of my mom and my children and beginning school. My first two spring quarter classes started in January and finished this past Friday. My next two classes begin next Monday. I’m taking a full time course load so I can get all my federal financial aid. Needless to say it’s been a VERY busy few months but in some ways also very rewarding. My children are very supportive of my going to school even if my son doesn’t quite understand when I need time to study or write my papers – I’m currently carrying an A average. I’m attending Liberty University Online pursuing my Bachelors in Social Work. My goal is eventually to either continue working the developmentally disabled field or to work with women leaving prostitution and human trafficking.
Work is well, work. I take care of three men who are DD in their home – they are great guys but it is still work. I was taking care of a fourth in another house but he passed away two weeks after I met him.
I feel like home is an area I’m failing in – the house is often a mess and even with the children, especially my oldest pitching in there is a sense of disarray and dirt everywhere. When people say you can’t have a career and a house, it’s true – you can but one is going to suffer and right now it’s my house, and I hate that. Honestly, we could probably scrape by if I didn’t work but there wouldn’t be extras because we’d only be able to buy groceries (and then only cheap stuff, not healthy stuff) and pay bills and put gas in the car. There wouldn’t be room to pay for dance or take small trips or take in the occasional movie at the cheap seats theater. I’m trying to get into a groove and find a balance but so far I haven’t. I’ve cut out reviews – as soon as I get the ones that need posted up and done I’m out because it’s one thing I can say no to.
We’ve also made it through a whole year of not having Don with us – and we’ve gotten through our 2nd anniversary without him and his 2nd birthday. It’s been tough – and while we aren’t in the throws of grief, we still have our sad days but we are much more better at remembering him with laughter than we are with tears. I don’t go to the cemetery much, although my in-laws do, it is hard and I know he’s not there and seeing my name on the marker is well, eerie. I’ve also had a talk with the children about me wanting to find love again – it’s not something I’m rushing in to and there is no one in mind – but I know Don wouldn’t want me grieving the rest of my life and since I’m only 37 I am still young. My in-laws know too. I would want the same thing for him, had it been me to go. I’m praying the Lord will show me the right man even if that comes through eHarmony which I’ve joined. For those who are against online meetings – I know the risks, my husband and I met online and we almost made it to 14 years.
I’ve been told by different people lately that they admire me, they don’t know how I do what I do. I can say it’s all the Lord – if not for Him I’d have fallen on my face a long time ago. It’s also my children, they keep me going and then I read my oldest daughter’s blog post and I get the sense that even when I’m failing, I’m doing something right. So, with that I’ll close – I’ll try to get better at posting personal stuff and also more homeschooling stuff as I get caught up on my reviews.
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